So I didn't think I'd talk about Mr. Brendon-gate, but apparently I am.
Not cutting, because your layouts will be fine tomorrow(1/9/08) morning.
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I was taling to
saline_joy about this, and some of this is taken from a comment thread we had.
I first want to clear up a vocab word or two that will come up.
Porn = wherin for values of porn, we take that to mean "stuff about people having sex"
Pornfiction = wherin for values of porn, we take that to mean "stuff about people having sex, with varying levels of romantic sappiness thrown in"
We write porn, yes, but we also write love stories, and there's a difference in the two.
~~
I just... it frustrates me that it's "ok" for young adult dudes to act like that.
Being informed only from things like Anal Adventures IV and last months' issue of Cosmo does not excuse crappy, douchey behavior.
I love porn and pornfiction but its crap at teaching intrapersonal relations and things like using lube and asking please before facials happen.
Porn shouldn't be how people learn the workings of sex, but because Western socioety in general and America as a whole is so freaked about sex ed(how to both put a condom on and talk to each other the morning after) for minors, we don't.
The fact that Ryan snips at Jac's photography while doing the same thing shows us something.
The fact that Pete makes thinly veiled comments about every girl he's ever been with shows us something(Ashlee's dieting issues{She means to me what i mean to Rap, check his blogspot for that header}, Jaenae).
The fact that people dismiss the "scene queens" but laud the male versions of them is really telling, perhaps most of all.
Seriously. Pete is dating Ashlee who is more famous than he is and I'm sure the added publicity for his band, DD and gross looking clothing line(said while wearing some of it) isn't keeping him up at night.
And yet its girls who are called "star fuckers".
Ryan internet stalked both Jac and Pete before they dated and signed his band. It may be the internet, but stalking is still stalking.
That emo is actually very hyper-masculine wherew girls are groupies, song material and muses is still unacceptable, guyliner or not.
Which leads to another thing: girls in bands.
Hayley Williams from Paramore, Alicia(techs count), Greta from The Hushies, Amanda Plamer, Lyn Z & Kitty from MSI. Ashlee's a solo pop star, but she goes here as well.
Where is the fic for them, exactly? Theres more about Brian, and Matt Cortez and Zack than even Greta.
I have problems with Hayley's outlook(Once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change - from Misery Business. She's trapped in the same whore/bride dichotemy that Ryan and Pete are.) on this meta actually, but still.
I'm sick of this huge gaping chest wound of a double standard in my music and in the larger world.
Brendon's dochey please-let-someone-kick-him-in-the-neck behaviour is only a symptom of this.
Not cutting, because your layouts will be fine tomorrow(1/9/08) morning.
||
I was taling to
I first want to clear up a vocab word or two that will come up.
Porn = wherin for values of porn, we take that to mean "stuff about people having sex"
Pornfiction = wherin for values of porn, we take that to mean "stuff about people having sex, with varying levels of romantic sappiness thrown in"
We write porn, yes, but we also write love stories, and there's a difference in the two.
~~
I just... it frustrates me that it's "ok" for young adult dudes to act like that.
Being informed only from things like Anal Adventures IV and last months' issue of Cosmo does not excuse crappy, douchey behavior.
I love porn and pornfiction but its crap at teaching intrapersonal relations and things like using lube and asking please before facials happen.
Porn shouldn't be how people learn the workings of sex, but because Western socioety in general and America as a whole is so freaked about sex ed(how to both put a condom on and talk to each other the morning after) for minors, we don't.
The fact that Ryan snips at Jac's photography while doing the same thing shows us something.
The fact that Pete makes thinly veiled comments about every girl he's ever been with shows us something(Ashlee's dieting issues{She means to me what i mean to Rap, check his blogspot for that header}, Jaenae).
The fact that people dismiss the "scene queens" but laud the male versions of them is really telling, perhaps most of all.
Seriously. Pete is dating Ashlee who is more famous than he is and I'm sure the added publicity for his band, DD and gross looking clothing line(said while wearing some of it) isn't keeping him up at night.
And yet its girls who are called "star fuckers".
Ryan internet stalked both Jac and Pete before they dated and signed his band. It may be the internet, but stalking is still stalking.
That emo is actually very hyper-masculine wherew girls are groupies, song material and muses is still unacceptable, guyliner or not.
Which leads to another thing: girls in bands.
Hayley Williams from Paramore, Alicia(techs count), Greta from The Hushies, Amanda Plamer, Lyn Z & Kitty from MSI. Ashlee's a solo pop star, but she goes here as well.
Where is the fic for them, exactly? Theres more about Brian, and Matt Cortez and Zack than even Greta.
I have problems with Hayley's outlook(Once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change - from Misery Business. She's trapped in the same whore/bride dichotemy that Ryan and Pete are.) on this meta actually, but still.
I'm sick of this huge gaping chest wound of a double standard in my music and in the larger world.
Brendon's dochey please-let-someone-kick-him-in-the-neck behaviour is only a symptom of this.
Tags:
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:14 am (UTC)The thing about people sniping at the scene queens for being shallow and fucked up and fame-whorey is...well, what does it say about these dudes if those are the kinds of girls they like? Why do people view them as victims of these women instead of grown-ass men who deliberately pursue the same type of women (Brendon: scene queens who pride themselves on "trashiness", Ryan: pretty blonde chicks who like to be photographed)? Like, I don't love Jac and Audrey (I do find them pretty entertaining, though) but the thing is...Brendon and Ryan chose to date them. If fangirls hate Jac and Audrey and Keltie and Lana, they should be asking themselves what these girlfriends say about the dudes who choose to date them.
And god, yeah. As tacky as it is to talk shit about your famous ex, how tacky is it for Ryan to call out Jac in an interview and question her photography (as though Ryan gets to say what art is or isn't, and also, she's twenty years old; not everyone gets their pretty ass handed a record contract at 17, Ryan)? How tacky is it for Pete to write blogs that are obviously about Ashlee and Jeanae? It definately goes both ways, but when the guys do it they're viewed so much more sympathetically.
Regarding the fic thing...I think part of it is that a lot of people in fandom would rather read pornfiction about boys, and part of it is that interest in fic correlates a lot to interest in music--I mean, the boy Hushies get about as much fanfic as Greta does (very little), and Lyn Z gets waaaay more fanfic than any of the guys in MSI. Amanda Palmer gets no love in fic, but neither does the dude in her band whose name I don't even know. Same with Hayley and the dudes in Paramore whose names I also don't know (and yeah, that "whore" line bothers me a lot too. Not to mention she's like uber-Christian). There's also a correlation between exposure in the media and fic, I think--the dudes we write about most are the ones who get publicized the most, or who we get to know through their own blogs and the FOE videos and such.
I also think a lot of that has to do with sexism, though. Girls can't reveal as much of themselves, can't be as complex and funny and interesting and revealing as dudes are, because they'd get judged like hell for it. With the girls I do have an interest in writing (Vicky T and Ashlee), the thing is, they reveal so little about themselves. With Vicky I think it might just be her personality--the Guilty Pleasure video obviously shows she has a sense of humor, and she always seems fun in the candid photos, but she doesn't really talk or do much on camera--she seems much more comfortable behind the camera. And Ashlee's image is so constructed that she never seems particularly genuine in interviews.
I do think that for a fandom populated primarily with dude "characters" though, girls are getting a good amount of attention in fic, moreso than a lot of other fandoms, actually.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:40 am (UTC)Calling her out in an interview after stalking/splooging over her already famous self is just an interesting little dig to his personality - he unlike William, doesn't acknowledge he can be a prick, or Gabe's nasty guy.
For Pete's, its beyond tacky and into gauche.
Paramore is aparetnly Christian rock, by the band's own admission. A host of bands I love have Xtian roots, but none handle it as ... (oddly? smarmy? distatsefully?) as they do- redemption, turning the other cheek, etc. is a huge part of what Jesus was talking about. he's supposed to have hung out with fishermen, prostitutes and social/pyhsical lepers. He was a radical hippie in the original sense of it.
Thats not what i hear from them at all. D:
But going to something that others like
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 09:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:13 pm (UTC)Whether all of it did or did not happen doesn't forgive the actions he was described as doing, not that I excuse her either.
She, if its true, enabled said uber toolish bahavior to happen by not standing up for herself and putting it on the internet.
I agree that truthfulness should be proven, but I'm not concerned with that in this instance, since its gross and shitty in any situation.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:20 pm (UTC)...
So i tried to summarise it, but it hurt my brain. The post talks about kinky sex, if you think facials and anal sex and threesomes are kinky. The post is hard to explain.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:30 pm (UTC)Holy crap. Now I completely understand. I've always had the same worries about people learning about sex from porn, but if that stuff's true, that is just beyond asshole.
I don't have enough mental energy to contribute anything beyond what you've already said, but I definitely agree with you. Just. >< What happened to actually talking? I tell everyone I know about the importance of actually communicating with one's partner, but still. How...? Oh, my poor brain. So much abuse, it takes.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:46 pm (UTC)abstinence only sex ed + liberally porn saturated global world + X + lazy/cowardly/crappy parenting = crap like this.
Where X could be any number of things like (fucked in the head anyway)
Seriously, my poor brain. Our poor brains. Ugggh.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 08:53 pm (UTC)But yeah, I suppose either way, it's none of our business. Despite what my icon may indicate, I'm not really all that much of a fan of patd anyway. I just find them nice visual templates, as much of a bandom "sin" as that may be.
I'm still rooting for actual sex ed though. My kids are gonna get the whole nine yards from me and my guy, no matter how red I have to turn.
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Date: 2008-01-08 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 09:39 pm (UTC)As I said to
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Date: 2008-01-08 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 09:40 pm (UTC)*puts on srs business hat*
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Date: 2008-01-08 09:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-08 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 04:43 am (UTC)I can't listen to them b/c of Misery Business, because that fundamental lack of compassion& understanding is indicitive of creepy issuses I don't want to enable.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-09 09:07 pm (UTC)yeah, pretty much. at least pw never calls anybody a full out "whore", the lyrics are just pissy because he was cheated on. but Misery Business is totally different. it's just...nasty. "I'm sorry, that'll never change?" I mean, wow.
and I think it's funny that I'm as weirded out as I am about their Christian-ness. like, Brand New is Christian too, but they just don't bug me. idk, probably because I read Paramore won't even curse. and Brand New is all "wow, some of you xtians are kinda fucked up."
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 06:06 am (UTC)This says he "parted ways" with them, but I doubt it was amicable.
http://wc06.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:0pfrxq8sldae~T1
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 06:13 am (UTC)With Pete, even though he makes allusions and says some viscious things, he does it ... I guess in a way that comes across as classy? At least, its classier than Paramore ever could be.
I'm fine with god rock(U2, POD, Disturbed{they do mention God a lot, so while not completely Xtian, they do have religious themes}). I'm fine with Jesus. Jesus was a hippie sociolist who hung out with fisherman, prostitutes and lepers.
If they're so hopped up on Jesus, who was about redemption, then why "Once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change"?
So yeah. Paramore is teh weird and offensive.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 06:30 am (UTC)True, but there are less of them--probably because most scene kings will be taken seriously once they start a band, whereas chicks in bands aren't taken seriously, and a lot of women don't have the confidence to join/start a band. Chicks are told that their only value is being attractive and attracting a man, so it's not surprising that a lot of scene chicks focus on image and have famous boyfriends.
I don't have a problem with Jesus, I just think the institution of Christianity is kind of screwy. But mostly I meant that being uber-Christian doesn't allow for a lot of slashy hijinks, which we in fandom love.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 06:43 am (UTC)Sometimes my familiarity with bandom people's blogs makes me feel lame, but mostly I just have a good memory for random things.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 07:14 am (UTC)Which is part of the main issue.
I'm fine with Jesus. I'm also fine with Buddha and Ra and Zeus and Muhammad and Moses.
But Paramore is ... acidic about it in a way I can't condone.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-11 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-11 02:14 pm (UTC)Here's the thing. Men are awful. As women we have to give the blueprint for how we expect and demand to be treated. They should treat us all with respect but it would be easier if all women treated themselves and other women with respect and didn't put a boy in his place when he tried to do otherwise. Pete would have one damn time to put my business in the street before I'd demand he erase it and apologize to me or I'd start up my own damn blog telling everybody his foibles since I know he has plenty ZOMG. I would opt for option 1 because it has the most desired outcome for me and is less childishly reactionary.
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Date: 2008-01-12 06:36 am (UTC)I also didn't know much about them at all except that I sell music for a living, and they are really popular, and the lead singer has some fierce hair.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-12 06:46 am (UTC)And paramore is uber Cristian in a way that is ... acidic? viscous? and very different(they admittedly don't curse, that awful line is Misery Business, they threw out an original member b/c he got married-links for that upthread) from say, Brand New and U2. I wanted to like them but upon hearing that song and learning more about them I realized that she doesn't get it. At all.
Thanks for commenting.
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Date: 2008-01-12 04:04 pm (UTC)I totally didn't mean to imply that I thought it was a good thing, but rather made more understandable given their upbringing. Luckily they are really young, and will have chances to broaden their view points as they really grow up.
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Date: 2008-01-12 04:16 pm (UTC)And I didn't mean to imply that you did either. That was more a general outlook type statement on my part.
Hopefully they will change for the better. *nods*